La Vie en Gris

My friend calls it "floating"- the point in your life where you are just existing between two chapters. I call it gray. Gray, gray, and more gray-- nothing in my life is black and white these days. Usually I'm down with my "gray" perspective, almost self-righteously, because I am far too open-minded for the confines of the "black and white" world. Right? Aren't culture-loving-liberal-fly-by-my-pants-Lucys like myself supposed to wear gray like a badge of honor? But now I'm intimidated by it, longing for clarity, resenting the lack of control.

Don't get me wrong, I am in love with DC- or at the very least have a hard crush. Things have been lovely here! I love that everyone here eats, sleeps, and breathes politics and that dinner revolves around what time Congress is out of session. I don't even mind that I got off the plane from Ireland and within hours became a complete workaholic. I walked into work that first day and was happier than I had been in months. YAY for saving the world!!!

But as I sit on my dear friend's couch sipping champagne with my (ironically) gray dress mocking my every move, I can't help but wonder when things will fall into place. Its not that I even need permanence- just rest. I need life to stop spinning me in circles and to just make sense for a little while before it throws me on my ass again. I need clarity. Clarity is priceless. And as it turns out, very black and white.