The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I’m not speaking of carols, shopping, or fat men in red suits. Not the overeating, the presents, snowflakes, or the choirs of angels, either. I am referring to the glorious time that is… Presidential Primary Season.

It’s true, I relish every moment of the mudslinging, strategizing, and campaigning. I love the Caucus Countdown, the ever-changing polls, and have cheered, heckled, and screamed at the television more during the Presidential Debates than the Superbowl. The ultimate political news junkie, I spend every morning, afternoon, and evening devouring the Washington Post, New York Times, and an array of political blogs so frequently that John Edwards barely has a bowel movement without my knowing it.

Presidential Primary Season is always a special time, but it is even more magical this year. We could first start with the craziness that is the GOP. Seldom does a day pass without news of a pedophile priest on the campaign staff, a nut job calling for the US to “double Guantanamo,” the gross exploitation of a national tragedy, or another gem quote about quarantining AIDS patients. It’s an all out pissing contest to see who has the most ridiculous, unapologetic foreign policy platform. GOP time is CRAZY time- and I LOVE it.

I’ll lay my bias flat out on the table: I am a liberal democrat and would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than vote for any of the current republican frontrunners. The only GOP candidate I have any measurable amount of respect for is John McCain, and I mean really, how can you not respect someone that was horrifically tortured for six years and went on to be not only a functioning human being, but a national leader. I just don’t agree with him on most issues. The others… they just need to be voted off the island.

I’ve got plenty of bones to pick with my Democrats, as well. Hillary’s so calculating I’m not sure she passes gas without first taking a poll; Edwards’s utter hatred of Hillary has become so evident that he can’t look at her in a debate without foaming at the mouth; and Obama (aka the new Jesus) could use a little substance when preaching that gospel. Not to mention the few Crazies (*cough* Gravel/ Kucinich) however beloved, to contend with the Repubbies. But when it comes to foreign policy and critical issues like the U.S. Image in the World, the Dems are seriously in a whole other league. This election is definitely ours to lose.

The American presidential political sysem is entertainment at its finest. Like a child impatiently awaiting Santa Claus, I will continue to count down the days till the primaries when this vast field of personalities will eventually be narrowed down to a two-person slugfest. But for the next 24 days, it will be over-coverage, blatant attack ads, and a potential slapfest between Oprah and Streisand.

And there is nothing more glorious than that!